While at work- things I've thought about/talked about:

-Todd Barry is funny. I'd like to pick up one of his comedy cds.

-"Schoenfeld" is a super cool last name.

-Everybody has wallpaper of fellas: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Nicolas Cage, that Asian anchorman from the local news. Would Carl Barat wallpaper be too much for the office to handle?

-S-K's Dig Me Out is a perfect album to listen to when you need to get shit done. It is also great for frantic cleaning at home.

-Joel Stein and Adam Brody have the same mouth. Weird.

-I wish I had a megaphone. The is ridiculous anyhow, considering the fact that I am so shy. Shy enough to often be considered aloof.

-"Queen Bitch" is just too dangerous to play at work. You want to get into it, but you can't.

-If I were casting White Noise as White Noise: The Movie, Bob Balaban would be Murray.

-Chuck Klosterman writes in his new book about how loving hip-hop singles makes him want to kill himself. This is hilarious to me. This ties into a cute (there's that word again) convo (insert eyeroll here) I had with some of the ladies at work recently. It all started when I was complaining about the way "Hollaback Girl" gets lodged in the brain. The thing to picture is that these very nice women are pretty conservative mom types. One gal was trying to recall the name of a song she thought was by Nelly. Once she said "Candy Shop" about four of us, in unison, jumped in to correct her, "No, it's by 50 Cent!" It was pretty much universally agreed that while the song is not appropriate for their young kids, these ladies love (I mean lurve) it anyhow. On the sly. Sweet fancy Moses! For those not familiar, "Candy Shop" is very racy. Too racy for Stacie. Whoa is right. And they also like "Just a Lil' Bit" too. He.

When does quirky bleed over into crazy? It's a fine line. I think I crossed it about two Bob Balaban references ago.

I will hopefully have some loopy anecdotes about Las Vegas. We shall see.

Happy Birthday on Friday Dave!

Should be a kick
I'm going to Las Vegas this weekend with Brooke and Katie. I have not been since I was seven. I can vaguely recall going to the Liberace museum with my Grama. I have a feeling things have changed. (Understatement alert.) After that I am so thrilled because B & K will be here for a little bit. Yippie. I look forward to lots of goofy antics. And I hope a tiny jaunt to SF, if time permits.

I like bright, shiny things
I love seeing fireworks. Especially at the beach. So pretty. I like the blue ones best and then the gold-red ones, which I refer to as "lion manes." I go to Cayucos every year with friends. We make smores (some say "schmores") and laugh at guys wearing the oh-so-attractive Joey Butafuco-style pants. Such fun. I usually light the girly fireworks (the spinning flowers typically) and then run like hell in the other direction. We always have a blast. If anyone is going to be around for the 4th and wants to join in, please do. Email me for more details.

Currently reading Chuck Klosterman's Killing Yourself To Live and adoring every minute of it. Such a hoot. There is nothing this man does not know about pop culture or music. I get a kick out of his references and the quirky detours he tends to take.

Or should I call you Phantom?
(In hushed tones, of course.)

I'm having fun reading about music at the Pitchfork site. The reviews are well written, snarky and made complete with unforgiving numerical scores. Plus they're filled to the brim with words like "insouciance." Words that are "like one hundred dollars," as Jonathan Safran Foer says.

Bloody hell. Firefly is the ultimate. Brilliant even. It is easily in the same realm as The X-Files. If only it had been given the same kind of run. I've been watching episodes like mad and the supply is rapidly dwindling. Tear. It is so hilarious and smart and I adore every character. And I think several are cute too.

I almost made it through an entire post without using the word cute. Almost.

Any Christopher Nolan movie starring Christian Bale is pretty much the ultimate. Then you add the following: Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman. Sheesh. Too much. Loved it.

Just watched a preview episode (entitled "Hot Property") of the hotly anticipated Stella. Very funny. Stella is comprised of comedians David Wain, Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black. I liked them on The State from way back. Anyway, this new series begins June 28th and I can't wait. The guys look very sharp in their suits, especially Michael Ian Black, who I'm kind of sweet on.

I just watched Queer Eye. Guess what is cuter than Weezer and baby animals? Why, the Queer Eye guys and babies. That's right. The latest episode had the guys helping out a family with quintuplets and as you might expect hilarity/chaos ensued. Amy Sedaris made a delightful and unexpected drop-in, bringing cupcakes and her famous cheese balls. Wee! She kept saying "I've got my own at home" in a cute way that was so very Geraldine "Jerri" Antonia Blank.

I'm reading I'm Not The New Me by Wendy McClure and it is pretty fantastic. McClure writes for BUST and Television Without Pity (TWOP- more on this later). Her book is about a number of weight-y issues: joining Weight Watchers, fat girl jeans, owning an abundance of black tops and much much more- but told in a very funny manner. I like the non-weight stuff too, like her stories about scary motel dives and her friend from Michigan with the Hardee's/heavy metal past. (I can relate. Good night Ironwood!) At one point she discusses an ugly pinafore dress she used to wear: "I would wear it and pretend I was Stout Clara, the Dumpiest Bronte Sister of Them All. Weekday mornings I'd trudge up to the el platform and stand in the wind and think of the moors." She's a riot.

The "People Never Fail To Disappoint" Award of the Week:
This week it goes to Rieschelle and Jordan's adult customer from the bookstore who had absolutely no idea who Anne Frank was. Or "Anne Franklin" as she went on to call her. Very sad.

The end of Scarface always makes me laugh because Tony Montana basically plants his face into a mountain of cocaine. Well, if you substituted Tony Montana for me and the cocaine for trashy pop culture/nostalgia then you have a pretty accurate snapshot of my week. There's a lot to cover, so please do take notes.

Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment: Six Feet Under Returns
I know that the charitable readers of this site are at various stages of watching the show, so I won't give too much away. Last season seemed to tie up many loose ends, but in typical Alan Ball fashion things have gone to hell like there’s no tomorrow. It is a festering wound at this point- lots o' self-loathing, turmoil and personal tragedy. So, in other words, totally normal for the show. I can’t wait for more.

Somebody Get Me a Clipboard: The MTV Movie Awards Are On!
I watched the MTV Movie Awards, as I tend to do. But now when I watch them I feel less like I am watching an awards show and more like I’m conducting marketing research. What are “the kids” into these days? What can I learn about them and their peculiar ways/interests? How can we appeal to that demographic? The reunion of The Breakfast Club cast was the final nail in the coffin. Molly Ringwald is old enough to play Lindsay Lohan’s mom. Yikes. Highlights included the Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn shtick and I’ll admit that the Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams thing was quite beguiling.

I Want My MTV: Videos, Videos and More Videos
I've just discovered music videos on Yahoo. They've all but completely phased out videos at the music networks, so it is cool to be able to watch one on command.

I watched several Weezer videos I’d never seen before. Mary Lynn Rajskub is the girl in the video for “The Good Life,” but not in a cheesy "Jennifer Love Hewitt casting meaningful and overly dramatic glances" sort of way. I’ve liked Rajskub for years, from Mr. Show to many other projects. She’s in the new Gregg Araki, which will probably never come to a theatre near me. Brian Bell does a number of cute things in "Beverly Hills": he plays Twister, he flirts with a charming girl and he does this little guitar move that is just neat. And the “Island in the Sun” video. Who can resist dorky guys frolicking with baby animals?

I also watched a relic from my past, “Legs” by ZZ Top. As a kid I always loved the makeover the nerdy Kate Rambeau-esque gal gets from the ZZ Top ladies, complete with mini skirt, ruffled socks and pink high heels. The whole thing is reminiscent of Dolly Parton’s statement, “I modeled my looks on the town tramp.” Campy fun.

With this video thing I might never leave the house again.

I'm finally getting over that cold from hell thingie that's been plaguing me. It got really bad during the holiday weekend and, lucky me, I got to go to one of those urgent care centers. This "medical facility" was ramshackle at best- a detriment to my mental health for certain. I wanted to hose the place down with bleach. (OCD is a beautiful thing.) I had a weird eye infection that was oh so pretty. The doctor actually told me that my look- crazy prison-break eyes coupled with one of those attractive tie-in-back hospital gowns- would make a good Halloween costume. Yikes. When I was at the pharmacy, waiting for my prescription, I think I even saw a man turn in the other direction after seeing me. Double yikes.

After the sickness, a series of weird run-ins (ghosts of high school past) and work drama (we're talking jazz-hands DRAMA!) I decided to fashion myself an Amy Sedaris-style "fuck-it bucket." I saw Miss Sedaris on Conan a few years ago and she talked about making these buckets, for those times when you feel like saying the hell with it all. I went to Target and I was bad, so bad. I bought three cds and a movie and some key-lime white chocolate cookies. Had the new Sleater-Kinney been there I would have purchased that too. I was not completely over the top. I did pass up on some cute jammies.

Orchid (now known as Corky)- Still kicking.